A Stunning Couple On Their Wedding Night
Chris and Joe made a beautiful couple. She was tan and blonde while he was tall with bright blue eyes. Judging by their looks alone, they seemed like a perfect pair. Not only were they both good looking, but they both really loved each other. They were best friends who always got along, they had the type of relationship people dream of. But while their facade fooled many, including themselves, there was trouble brewing beneath the surface for this young couple.
The Family Grows
Only two months after their wedding, Chris finds out she is pregnant. The couple is overjoyed and soon welcome a baby boy into their world. Shortly after, Chris gives birth to their second son. Their family was slowly growing, and after five years of marriage, Chris finds out she’s pregnant once again, only this time it’s with a little girl. It is during this pregnancy that Chris begins to come to terms with the secret she’s been keeping from her family, and she must decide what to do next.
Oprah’s Aha! Moment
Oprah is an icon in America. She is known for many things and has a multitude of catchphrases, including her “Aha!” moment. Oprah frequently uses this term in her show to refer to revelations in one’s life that lead to drastic changes. Chris explains to Oprah that, rather than having an “Aha!” moment, it felt more to her like an “Oh no!” moment. Coming to terms with the secret that Chris had buried deep down in her subconscious was indeed a revelation, but she didn’t consider it the good kind.
Oprah Consoles Chris As She Reveals Her Secret
Chris retains perfect poise as she reveals to Oprah and the nation the secret that’s she kept from her husband for the entirety of their relationship. She is a lesbian. Many audience members can be heard gasping during the show, but Chris remains strong and owns who she is. Oprah nods along and offers the love and support she is so well-known for. 2006 was a time of revolution for the LGBTQ community, and many audience members can be seen nodding along in support of Chris’ coming out.
LGBTQ and Family Support
When any member of a family comes out, it can be a bit of a shock. For some families, the moment of acceptance happens right when they say the words; I’m gay; however, for others, it does require some time and patience. In the situation of Chris and Joe, their families supported both of them, and they helped one another. Though their circumstance is a rare one, where two gay people marry each other during their “straight phase,” they did have one another to turn to. Something that many in the LGBTQ community do not always have.
Chris Is Nearly In Tears
Tears well up in her eyes as Chris recalls the moment she came out to her husband. “Coming out” is when an LGBTQ person reveals their orientation. It is a difficult time for most, as many fear rejection or worse. Having a husband certainly didn’t make the ordeal any easier. Chris loved her family, and her kids were her world. She felt as though she was ruining their lives with her secret, and it made her feel immensely guilty.
The Struggles of Coming Out
There is often a stigma associated with coming out. Some believe coming out can only be done at a young age because, by the time you are an adult, you have life figured out. This is not true. In the situation of Chris, while she loved her husband and her life, there was a gnawing inside that she could not shake off. Coming out is a struggle and battle that many members of the LGBTQ community often feel. They feel as though they are letting their friends and family down when, in reality, this is far from the truth. For Chris, she learned that even though she had a secret, she would have the support of her children and soon-to-be ex-husband.
Chris Explains Her Revelation
Oprah goes on to ask Chris, “How long have you known?” Chris’ answer is similar to many LGBTQ individuals’ answers: She always knew. When she was 19, she had her first gay relationship. Unfortunately, that relationship was a tumultuous one that very quickly fizzled out. Chris used the relationship’s failure as a sign that she wasn’t truly a lesbian and hid away her true identity. It wasn’t until she was pregnant with her daughter that Chris realized she had been lying to herself. Tragically, their daughter was stillborn. Chris thought that this painful event was God punishing her for lying to her family.
Joe’s Unusual Reaction
Chris had a difficult time opening up to her husband. She didn’t know how to break the news to him. Before Chris opened up to her husband, she expected Joe to be shocked and even angry at her. At last, when she finally told him her secret, she was stunned by his reaction. He was very calm and understanding. This was not what Chris was expecting, but she was relieved. Joe told her that he wanted to stay together and make their marriage work.
Excited Audience Member
Anything on The Oprah Winfrey Show was guaranteed to be tv gold. Like watching a soap opera, this woman is on the edge of her seat watching the drama unfold. A woman revealing to her husband that she’s gay is undoubtedly intriguing, but this woman has no idea what is coming next. There are so many more secrets and twists in this story that have yet to be told. This woman, and the rest of the audience, have quite the ride ahead of them.
Trying To Make A Marriage Work
To their credit, Joe and Chris tried their best to make the marriage work. They regarded each other as best friends rather than lovers and began sleeping in separate rooms. As time moved on, Joe went from understanding husband to betrayed lover. He started having feelings of intense anger and, although Chris threw a wrench into his life, he knew his new feelings weren’t directed towards her. During this time in his life, Joe decided to do some soul searching and realized that Chris wasn’t the only one hiding a momentous secret.
Joe Shares His Secret
Joe reveals to the nation that he is also gay. Like Chris and so many others, he knew he was gay his entire life, but never had the strength to accept his true identity. His true sexuality is the reason why he was initially so accepting of Chris coming out. It took some time for him to also feel comfortable with coming out as well. An audience member can be heard booing in the background as Joe reveals his secret.
An Intrigued Audience Member
During the recording of this segment on Oprah, audience members can be heard having an array of reactions. You have to remember, in 2006, people were not as open about discussing sexuality as they are today. The subject of sexuality was a sensitive one that people tended to shy away from, but it was that sensitivity that made people all the more curious. Someone coming out to their partner made excellent daytime tv-material, but this couple took that to a whole new level.
Oprah And LGBTQ Rights Activism
In 1997, Ellen Degeneres came out as gay, a decision that almost ruined her career. Oprah interviewed her on the show and received much backlash because she was a Christian supporting homosexuality. Many people viewed this as condemnable. Even back in 1997, Oprah was forward-thinking and accepting. She told her audience, “The God I serve doesn’t care whether you’re tall or short, or whether you were born black or Asian or gay.” Oprah, to this day, does what she can to support the LGBTQ community
Ellen DeGeneres, the Next Oprah
When now-famous talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres came out, one could not have predicted the impact she would have on the LGBTQ community today. Ellen, following in Oprah’s footsteps, continues to be an LGBTQ advocate and supporter, who shares stories and inspiring segments on her talk show, Ellen. Ellen’s transparency on her experience coming out on TV has inspired others, and she has become a gay icon and hero.
Other Gay Issues On The Oprah Show
Greg Louganis is a diver who won five Olympic medals and was the first diver in history to receive a perfect score of ten. Greg is a legend and made waves outside the Olympic pool when he appeared on Oprah’s show and came out as gay in 1995. Greg was the very definition of a “macho” man, and his coming out shocked the country. He also revealed that he is HIV positive, an STI prominent in the gay community that held much social stigma.
The Struggles of Coming Out
When Chris and Joe met, they were head over heels for one another – and though some would say she should not have married Joe if she knew she was a lesbian, it is much more complicated than to just “come out.” Coming out is not a one-time event; if anything, members of the LGBTQ community find that they can, throughout their life, come out multiple times. Chris loved Joe, and together, they had two kids – she knew the risk of coming out but did so knowing the risk was better than not. Chris chose not to become a stat of the negative impacts NOT coming out has.
The Ripple Effect Our Actions Have
Greg Louganis probably had no idea how many lives he would touch by appearing on Oprah back in 1995. Over a decade since that shocking interview, Oprah invites a young man named Michael onto her show. Michael says he was twelve years old when he first saw the interview, and it inspired him to accept his sexuality. He explains his apprehension, as he comes from a very conservative family, but says he knew he had to be true to himself.
Royalty On The Show
In 2007, Oprah invited on her show Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil of Rajpipla, India, who also goes by Prince Manvendra for short. After coming out, his family publicly disowned him. Rather than fleeing from his hurtful family in India, he stayed in India and began campaigning for equal rights for gay Indians. When Prince Manvendra first came out, homosexuality was technically legal, but engaging in homosexual acts was punishable by up to ten years in prison. India has now done away with that law, and gay pride parades are a common sight across the country.
LGBTQ and the Royals
If there is one thing that is not associated with the Royals of the world, it is the LGBTQ community. Though the Royals, specifically the British Royals, have been advocates and supporters of the community, it is very rarely known if any member of that Royal family are members of the LGBTQ family. Though it is not openly discussed, a notable LGBTQ royal is Lord Ivar Mountbatten, who is the cousin of Queen Elizabeth II.
Athletes and the LGBTQ Community
When it comes to big-name athletes, LGBTQ representation has often been considered taboo. Some significant athletes who have come out as a member of the LGBTQ community include Sheryl Swoopes, Billie Jean King and, more recently, decathlete, Bruce Jenner, who transitioned to Caitlyn Jenner. There is still much more that needs to be done to promote respect and tolerance, but these athletes are helping pave the way.
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This Story Sounds Familiar
We will get back to Chris and Joe very soon, but here’s another couple in a similar situation. Jodie and Charlie were a married couple with two kids. Just like Joe and Chris, they were an attractive pair that had everything going for them. In 2006, Jodie saw Joe and Chris on The Oprah Winfrey Show and was stunned by their story. “How could they not know?” Jodie asked. Not long after, Jodie left for a work retreat and met Kristine. Everything about Kristine was intriguing, and she wanted to be around Kristine all the time. She began having feelings she had never felt before.
More Couples Come Out
After Chris and Joe’s circumstance came out on Oprah, many more couples began to re-evaluate their situation and circumstances. Suddenly, couples began to come out to their spouse, saying they had been living a lie, that they were no longer happy being in the closet. Though this was a turning point and eye-opener for some – it did begin to throw a lot of questions about marriage and questioned human sexuality. Oprah’s openness and willingness to discuss the topic allowed her guests was to pave the path to create a foundation of support and tolerance for the LGBTQ community.
What Happened Next For Jodie And Charlie?
Jodie was afraid to tell her husband her newfound truth. That she was in love with a woman named Kristine. When she finally did work up the courage, Charlie was not angry at all. In fact, he was happy for her. He confessed to her that he had been attracted to men his whole life but never had the courage to accept he was gay. The couple has since split up, and Jodie is continuing to date Kristine.
Oprah Continues To Help The LGBTQ Community
Isn’t that what we all love about Oprah? She never stops giving! Although her talk show has come to an end, Oprah’s voice is still heard in popular media today. Oprah has her own network and still publishes her ever-popular magazine. She publishes LGBTQ friendly articles that promote health, raise awareness, and invites people to explore the many organizations in place to help the LGBTQ community. Her tv network does the same thing, especially during gay pride month..
Oprah’s LGBTQ Book Club Recommendation
Oprah has fought for and advocated on behalf of the LGBTQ community. With the presence and celebrity status of Oprah, one of the ways she has continued to advocate for the community is through recommending LGBTQ books and continuing to shine a light on the issues the community faces. Some of Oprah’s book club recommendations include: “On Swift Horses: A Novel,” “Shine of the Ever,” and “Find Me: A Novel.”
Stonewall Riots
Many members of the LGBTQ community know the violent yet monumental impact the Stonewall Riots has on the community. The Stonewall Riots, which are also known as the Stonewall Uprising, were a series of demonstrations in Greenwich, New York, to protest the often unexpected and brutal raids of New York police. These riots took place between June 28, 1969, to July 1, 1969. Today the LGBTQ community celebrates the Stonewall Riots and the demonstrators for allowing members of the community today to be and live as they are.
Pride Month
To celebrate the advances of the LGBTQ community and the work that still needs to be done to achieve equality, June is designated as national LGBTQ Pride Month. June was chosen for this celebration because that was the month that the Stonewall Riots took place in 1969. Although violence is never encouraged, these riots were an outcry against a police raid and are seen as the first step in the LGBTQ revolution. The Stonewall Inn is located in Lower Manhattan in New York City.
Same-Sex Marriage Laws In America
Prior to 2004, gay couples throughout America could not get married; instead, they had to settle for civil unions. Civil-rights campaigners have been making attempts since the 1970s to legalize same-sex marriage, and it took until 2004 for someone to listen. Massachusetts legalized gay marriage in 2004, and many states soon followed in their steps. However, many states refused to change their minds, which led to the Supreme Court intervening and legalizing gay marriage throughout the country in 2015.
Coming Out and Acceptance in America
While same-sex marriage is legal in the US, that does not mean there is still a negative stigma towards the LGBTQ community. In Liberal states such as California and New York, same-sex marriages and ceremonies take place, and couples can freely be themselves. However, in southern states such as Texas and Alabama, same-sex marriages are a taboo topic, and often, many people choose to stay closeted rather than come out, even though legally, they can marry.
Children of LGBTQ Parents
Though some would argue that children of LGBTQ parents have it harder or that they too, turn out gay, this is false. In actuality, children of LGBTQ parents end up being much more resilient, adaptable, and accepting. The studies and research on children of LGBTQ parents are still inconclusive as there are many variables that are often hard to control and identify. One thing that is for certain, same-sex couples who want to have children often have to spend thousands of dollars with no guarantee that they might walk away having a child.
Drag Takes America by Storm
For the last five years Americans have enjoyed shows such as RuPaul’s Drag Race and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. These two shows are among some of the most commonly watched and discussed, but more importantly, they are two LGBTQ shows that are slowly bringing to light drag queens and kings. Drag queens, especially, are starting to gain the same level of fame as movie stars and singers. They are a breed of artists that, thanks to pop-culture icons like RuPaul, are taking American by storm!
Same-Sex Marriage Laws Throughout The World
Of the195 countries throughout the world, only 28 have marriage equality laws. That means that only 14% of the world allows same-sex marriage. Even more shocking, more countries allow polygamous marriages (having more than one spouse) than there are that allow same-sex marriages. Most countries that outlaw same-sex marriage are located in Africa and the MiddleEast. Not only is same-sex marriage outlawed in these areas, but many countries have criminalized gay practices, with the punishment even being death.
Mainstream Media and Culture
Thanks to shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, there has been a movement towards normalizing if not opening the doors for discussion. Major companies and brands are starting to demonstrate their acceptance, if not openness, as well. From catch-phrases to LGBTQ target movies and shows, Hollywood is paving the way towards tolerance and acceptance. OutTV is a newly launched network that focuses and showcases only LGBTQ content.
On-Going Discrimination
Despite the strides the LGBTQ community has made in America during recent years, they still face many adversities. This is especially true for LGBTQ youth who are incredibly impressionable and vulnerable. 42% of LGBTQ youth have admitted that the environment they live in is not friendly towards their sexual orientation. An astounding 92% of LGBTQ youth say they hear discriminatory remarks on a daily basis, which is why it is so important to us to watch the language that we use.
Stars Speak Up and Out
The moment celebrities, especially ones who identify as members of the LGBTQ community, hear about a young teen or adult who has committed suicide or are bullied for being gay – they speak up and out against the actions of the bullies. Not only do they speak up and out, but they also have been a force in pushing for laws that protect the rights of LGBTQ members. From Ellen to Kevin McHale and Lance Bass, these A-list stars continue to fight for equality and advocacy in the LGBTQ community.
LGBTQ Documentaries
When it comes to the LGBTQ community today there is a push to understand the culture but also a push to bring exposure to LGBTQ documentaries. Many of the LGBTQ documentaries are ones that have been referenced by today’s LGBTQ advocates such as RuPaul and talk-show host Ellen. Some LGBTQ documentaries worth watching include: Paris is Burning, We Were Here, The Times of Harvey Milk and The Case Against 8.
LGBTQ And Mental Health
LBGTQ individuals are subject to a type of bigotry, stigmas, and discrimination many of us will not encounter in our lifetime. Unfortunately, this ignorant diversity has had a profound effect on the LGBTQ community. LGBTQ individuals are three times more likely to experience a mental health condition and are two and a half times more likely to suffer from anxiety or depression. These are disheartening statistics that prove we need to treat all walks of life with the respect they deserve.
LGBTQ Suicide Prevention
Suicide is the second leading cause of death in young people between the ages of 10 – 24 and LGBTQ youth are four times more likely to contemplate suicide than straight youth. These are tragedies that can be prevented if we are armed with the right tools and knowledge. The Trevor Project is one resource that aims to increase LGBTQ suicide awareness and battle it. If you or someone you love is considering suicide, or just needs someone to talk to, contact The Trevor Project.
Trans in America
Trans people have been around for years – in America, they have been around since the 1600s. There is often a stigma and a mystery of the trans community and what it entails. Some believe that being trans is merely a phase. It is considered a phase where one dresses of the opposite sex of fun rather than a lifestyle. Some may dress the opposite gender; however, some have taken the extraordinary step to transition fully. This includes having a realignment operation and taking hormones to help with the transition.
How You Can Help In Day To Day Life
You don’t need to spend time or money to support the LGBTQ community. Being an ally to the LGBTQ community is simple, just treat them like the normal human beings that they are. What if you don’t like homosexuality? Then don’t practice it. We can all be allies by watching what we say and avoiding derogatory terms that have, unfortunately, become all too common in mainstream vocabulary. Stick up for your fellow human beings when you see hate.
GLAAD in America
To fight back against ill-representation in media and negative stereotypes, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, better known as GLAAD, promotes understanding in advancing equality and acceptance in media coverage. GLAAD was founded in 1985, and this non-governmental media works with associations and members of the media world to ensure transparency and accountability in reporting matters of the LGBTQ community to the public. One of the significant media representations that GLAAD has advocated for and against was the AIDS coverage and breakout in the community.
Things to Know About Coming Out Books and More
There is a generation of youth and adults who are turning to books, to the world wide web on how best to cope with coming out. Though these resources have proven beneficial, the biggest take away from any book or article is that each coming out experience and story is unique. If anything, these authors, celebrities, athletes, these everyday people have inspired a multitude of generations to be who they are. These are LGBTQ advocates who don’t always identify as gay or lesbian but who respect the right to choose.
A Gay Man Married To A Gay Woman
Even after this revelation that both of them were attracted to the same gender, Chris and Joe still tried to make their marriage work. They understood that they had two growing boys and, at the time, believed that it would be in their kids’ best interest if they stayed together. Chris began dating women in her free time, and Joe began dating men. After Chris’ coming out, they remained together for two more years before the strain of their unusual relationship got the better of them. After seven years of marriage, they finally divorced.
How Unique Is The Situation?
While the story of Joe and Chris has been made popular through The Oprah Winfrey Show, just how unique is their situation? According to certain polls, only 28% of bisexual individuals have told the ones closest to them about their sexual orientation. That number is even smaller for men, with only 12% of men revealing to their loved ones their true sexuality. Odds are, there are other couples out there who will leave their significant others for someone of the opposite sex.
Bullying And Name Calling
Although Joe and Chris felt at peace with themselves, their journey to inner solace left a devastating wake for their children. Both of their kids were often bullied in school. They were teased for having two moms and two dads. They were often called, “faggots”, a derogatory term that should never be used. Like any parent, Chris and Joe’s hearts broke when they learned of the bullying their kids were facing, however, they taught their children to be strong and to fight ignorance. Both kids are now happy, healthy adults.
An Unexpected Statistic
Chris and Joe’s life is just part of the nearly 2 million LGBTQ members who are presently married in heterosexual relationships. The reason for not coming out for these people can vary from religion, legality and also stigma of being gay. While Chris and Joe were able to find their happy ending and be their true self, there are still an alarming of young adults and couples in the US who would choose to be in a straight marriage than to be open about their true self.
The Story Doesn’t End There
Jacki, a devout Oprah fan, was watching Oprah per usual when she first laid her eyes on Chris. Jacki was blown away by Christine’s beauty and was shocked to find out she was gay. While seeing an attractive person on tv isn’t exactly rare, Jacki actually began bumping into Chris in real life. After a few chance encounters, the couple decided to go on a few dates and they soon found out they had great chemistry. The two women then made their relationship official.
Chris And Jacki At A Pride Rally
Here we see Chris hand-in-hand with her partner Jacki at a gay pride parade. LGBTQ parades could be seen everywhere across America in the 2000s as millions of LGBTQ individuals and couples demanded that their voices be heard. Although it took time to light a fire under the seats of politicians, their efforts finally proved fruitful when, in 2004, Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage. At the time, there were many uncomfortable with the decision, but the positive feedback was overwhelming, and soon, many other states followed suit.
Trouble In Paradise
Although both Chris and Jacki were the happiest they had ever been in their lives, there was one problem. Chris and Jacki could not get married. At the time, California had yet to allow same-sex marriage. Many gay couples in America, including Chris and Jacki, found this discrimination unfair and dehumanizing, but the law was slow to react. Deeply in love, this couple wanted to get married to express the bond they shared, so that was when Jacki came up with a solution.
Jacki Makes A Life-Changing Decision
After much consideration, Jacki chooses to have gender reassignment surgery in the form of a double mastectomy. A double mastectomy is an operation where both breasts are removed. She then officially changed her gender to male, allowing the two of them to legally get married in the state of California. Not only did Chris support this decision, but she was thrilled by it. Chris described Jacki’s decision to transition as “the biggest act of love” anyone has ever shown her.
What Is Gender Reassignment Surgery?
Gender reassignment surgery is when an individual undergoes surgery to appear more like the gender they associate with. This process involves plastic surgery and the removal of sex organs. Surgery involving a female transitioning to a male is generally more costly and time-consuming as it is more difficult to construct the male genitalia. Many transexual people will opt to use less costly hormone replacement pills in place of surgery. These pills contain hormones that can promote the growth of facial hair, muscles, and breast tissue.
Jacki And Chris All Geared Up
You may be noticing a recurring theme here. Jacki and Chris are indeed bikers, or motorcycle enthusiasts. Like many others, they enjoy the freedom the road has to offer and the feeling of wind blowing through their hair. Motorcycle enthusiasts tend to belong to groups, some even calling their group family. This couple is no exception. Their many motorcycle friends know of their story and simply don’t care. They treat Jacki and Chris like the kind human beings that they are.
A Beautiful Wedding
Jacki, who is now a man, can legally marry Chris. The couple had a beautiful wedding night and, despite identifying as a lesbian, Chris now finds herself married to a man again. Jacki’s gender does not matter to Chris, however. She has found her lifelong partner, and that is all that matters to her. As a married couple, they can now share each other’s 401K, pensions, and enjoy other benefits married couples receive that they were not eligible for before.
Can’t Get Enough Of Chris
The world didn’t forget about Chris and her unique story. Oprah has a segment called, Where Are They Now? In this segment, she finds former guests and asks them how they have been doing. It seems America wanted to know what happened to the pretty blonde that came out on her show because Oprah found Chris living in Sacramento. Chris was happy to be interviewed, which is how we came to know of her life with Jacki. Joe, unfortunately, did not appear in the segment.
Chris And Jacki Appear On Oprah’s, Where Are They Now?
Chris and Jacki and accompanied by their two adorable dogs as they interview for Oprah’s, Where Are They Now? The couple smile at each other throughout the segment and appear to be completely happy. They go on to tell the cameras that life is terrific. Their lives are full of supporting family and friends, and Chris’ children couldn’t be happier for her. When asked if she still speaks to Joe, Chris says they are only Facebook friends, but she would still do anything for him.
Sharing A Kiss In Their Road Attire
This couple isn’t shy about expressing their love for each other. Here we see them sharing a kiss while dressed in their road leathers. They are most likely taking a pit stop while on a ride somewhere. Many LGBTQ couples choose not to share public displays of affection out of fear of being ridiculed or harassed. Luckily for Chris and Joe, they live in California, a very progressive state, where that sort of behavior is few and far in between.
Finally At Peace
Chris can be seen here practicing yoga in the backyard of her home in Sacramento. This serene environment reflects the peace Chris feels on the inside. Although she is a strong woman who seemingly handled everything life had to throw at her with strength and grace, her journey could not have been an easy one. Luckily, she can now enjoy life knowing who she is and with a partner that accepts her. Chris is a yoga instructor in Sacramento, California.
Staying in Touch with Chris (and Jacki)
Though it has been years since Chris was on Oprah’s Where Are They Now, both can be followed on Twitter as they navigate married life but also their personal projects. Chris (@Tringali24) labels herself as a “Comedian, Actor, Musician, Activist, Mom, Donut Addict”. Though Jacki is less active, Chris shares the highs and lows of being an LGBTQ member in modern day America.