Our bizarre and heartbreaking story begins in Boksburg, South Africa. Boksburg is only two cities away from Johannesburg, the largest city in South Africa. In Boksburg is Tambo Memorial Hospital where two pregnant women were taken on the same day in August of 2010. Both women were nine months pregnant and going into labor. They were attended to and labor and delivery went smoothly for these women as they each gave birth to a beautiful, healthy child. Then tragedy struck.
Tambo Memorial Hospital
The Calm Before The Storm
Shortly after giving birth and recuperating, both women were sent home from the hospital with their new bundles of joy. Each mom had an overwhelming amount of love for their child and life couldn’t be better. Both mother’s reveled in the inequitable love of motherhood for three years until a series of events led one mother to unveil a terrible secret that broke her heart. In the wake of her discovery, she is left wondering what will happen next.
Newborn
The Truth Comes Out
Mother X is the name the media gave one mother to protect the identities of the children. Mother X’s world was falling apart long before she discovered the disturbing secret about her child. Almost four years after giving birth to her son, her partner doubted the paternity of their child and demanded that a DNA test be taken to prove the identity of the birth father. As the child grew older, it was evident he looked nothing like his father, and that is when suspicion grew. Mother X took the DNA test, and the results shocked her.
Mother On 60 Minutes
Was He The Father?
It seemed like the man’s suspicions were justified as the DNA test concluded that he was, indeed, not the father. Unfortunately, this is a moment many men have to endure, and the results can have varying reactions. Some men are elated, knowing the weight of responsibility is off their shoulders. Then, there are men who are crushed, the joys of fatherhood ripped from their hands. How this man reacted is unknown, but Mother X was left feeling devastated, and it wasn’t because of who the father was.
Curious Baby
Trouble in Paradise
Once a parent begins to question the biological relationship between parent and child, this can impact the relationship between parents. Before, during, and after the pregnancy, things in a marriage or relationship can be stressful as is; however, throw in some doubt that there may have been some infidelity. This can ruin if not destroy the relationship. Parents of newborns who were switched find it difficult to bounce back and come back from the doubt of infidel in their relationship.
Family Troubles
What Else Did The DNA Test Say?
Not only did the DNA test prove that the child didn’t belong to the father, but it showed that the child didn’t belong to the mother as well. In her devastation, Mother X nearly got ran over by two cars on her way back home. She was in a daze. She didn’t know what to do, but there was one thing she knew for certain. Mother X wanted to know who her biological baby was.
Grieving Mother
What are Hospitals Doing To Prevent This?
Most hospitals keep a strict ratio of one nurse per patient in the delivery segment of hospitals to ensure that each patient is getting the utmost care and attention. Infants are issued an ID bracelet, sometimes even more than one, with the mother’s name and the hospital code printed on it. Many hospitals are following the trend of eliminating nurseries all together, ensuring that the baby will never leave the parents’ site. All care for the baby is done in the same room as the parents.
Hospital Nursery
A Mother Always Knows
Mother X claims she always knew that her son wasn’t her actual child. She told news reporters, “A mother always knows,” but there were telltale signs along the way. For instance, when she was pregnant, she was told she was pregnant with a little girl. After giving birth, she held her daughter in her arms before a nurse took her away for cleaning and care. The next day she was handed a baby boy and told that it was her son.
Stressed Mother
Mother’s Intuition
Many psychologists are able to fully explain the maternal instinct between a mother and her child, and yet it is one the strongest bonds known to man. When Mother X spoke about knowing her “child” was not her own, it was without a doubt, her mother’s intuition. She knew deep down that the child she was given at the hospital to bring home was not her own and yet, how does one prove this? How does one tell the hospital, the world, that they are not theirs.
Mother’s Intuition
This Isn’t My Baby
Mother X was confused when, back in 2010, she was handed a baby boy after she clearly remembered giving birth to a little girl and even holding the child in her arms. She handed the baby back to the nurses and told them of their mistake. According to Mother X, the nurses laughed at her and told her she was wrong. Mother X was confused, but she was exhausted from giving birth. Maybe in her exhaustion, her memory was a bit muddled. After all, surely the hospital staff knew what they were doing, right?
Precious Baby
Over Three Years Later
Mother X wished she had listened to her intuition all those years ago as she prepared to meet her daughter. She had attended counseling in order to prepare herself for the emotional ordeal but still found herself sobbing as she embraced her daughter for the first time. The other mother, we shall call her Mother Z, was equally emotional. Both mothers were now facing a question that seemed impossible to answer. What are we going to do next?
Both Moms And Kids
The Trauma of Discovery
From the moment a family discovers the sad truth of their child not being their own, to the child suddenly losing their identity and now knowing who they are, there are many psychological traumas that follow such a discovery. For a couple in Tehran, they discovered the fatal mistake after a year; however, for some parents, they do not have the same luxury of uncovering this mistake till the child is well into their adulthood.
Psychological Trauma
Taking Steps To Avoid Your Baby Being Switched
Giving birth is a grueling enough task. Even those of us that haven’t given birth can agree that it is an excruciating and wearying ordeal. A mother in labor should only have to worry about one thing: giving birth. However, despite the lengths hospitals take to keep track of new babies, some parents take this responsibility into their own hands. Many parents will have their phone on hand during delivery and will immediately take a picture of their baby’s face after it is born.
ID Bracelet
A Grievous Decision
The uniqueness of this case gave the mothers little to no resources on their decision of what to do next. If they exchanged children, they would each be losing the child they have loved and cared for as their own for the past three years. Even if they did simply swap the children like they were trading cards, what kind of effect would that have on the children? If one mother took her biological child back, then the other mother would have nothing. There was no win-win situation.
Sad Baby
The Courts Get Involved
For two grueling years, this case sat in court as judges deliberated on the appropriate decision. It wasn’t until November of 2015, that the North Gauteng High Court in Pretoria made the decision that each child would stay with the psychological parent. Meaning that Mother X would keep her son, and Mother Z would keep her daughter. The court deemed that this would have the least negative psychological effect on the children. What did the mothers think?
North Gauteng High Court
Why Did The Courts Come To This Decision?
This story made headline news across the world for apparent reasons. Everyone wanted to know the fate of these children as a story like this generally only appears in soap operas. The court’s final decision left many people satisfied, angry, and confused. Was the final decision fair to the mothers? The answer is, it doesn’t matter. The court held only the well-being of the children in their minds as they deliberated over this complicated situation. They concluded that swapping the children would be detrimental to their mental health.
Nurse Holding Two Babies
Do the Courts Have Rights?
While the courts may have gotten involved with the accidental child switching, many are asking do the courts have a right to get involved? Some advocate groups would say yes, while parents of the affected children would argue against the court getting involved. For parents of children who discover the sad truth in their teens and adulthood, parents and the child would argue that the parents who raised them are their own…regardless if they share the same DNA or not.
The Justice System
Are You My Mommy?
In the United States, it is estimated that one in eight babies is given to the wrong family at some point during their stay in the hospital. While hospital staff are humans that are capable of making mistakes like any of us, this statistic is terrifying. It is also estimated that roughly 18 babies every year are switched at birth and sent home with the wrong family. Luckily, these mistakes are almost always caught by hospital staff or family. Almost.
Parents With Baby
Too Common of an Occurrence
The story of two mothers raising children that are not their own is becoming too common of an occurrence. Not only is this becoming too common of an experience for unexpecting parents, but the emotional and psychological trauma felt is one that lasts a lifetime. Many who have found themselves in this situation often feel the signs of either not belonging in their existing family or as though there is a part of them that is missing.
Discovering A Shocking Truth On Air
How Rare is Rare in America?
While our story takes us overseas, in the US, from 1995 to 2008 there were only eight documented baby switches. This number however does not include any possible switches that happen before the family leaves the hospital. Don’t be deceived by the low number however, as there are currently no policies which obligate the hospital to report switches. This has resulted in regulatory bodies within the hospital to keep track of such occurrences.
Nurse Checking On Babies
Unacceptable
Mother Z accepted the outcome of the case, but Mother X did not find this decision agreeable. She wanted her daughter back; she wanted what was rightfully hers back. Her lawyer, who worked pro bono on the case, was able to calm the grieving mother down and coax her into accepting the decision. Mother X is now “comfortable” with the court’s ruling and understands the best was made out of a painful situation.
Mother And Son
Keeping In Touch
Each parent has playdates with their biological child twice a week, sometimes more frequently. The playdates are bittersweet in that the mothers get to spend time with their birth child, but have to say goodbye at the end of the day. Mother X had this to say, “She looks so much like me. I see myself when I look at her. She has my eyes; she looks like my other child. It makes me so happy to see her. The boy I’m caring for also looks like the other family.”
Mother And Daughter
A Silver Lining
Mother X is unemployed and a single mother with multiple children to care for. She can barely afford to care for her kids and is grateful that Mr. Strydom, her lawyer, was able to work pro bono for her. She says her only solace is knowing that the family her daughter is being raised by is more financially stable than she is and that she’ll most likely have a better future because of it. A silver lining in an otherwise stormy cloud.
Daughter Hiding
Media Sensationalism
When news stations report on babies being switched at birth it can create stress and anxiety for soon-to-be parents. The reality is that while this is a tragic occurrence, media does not help in the reporting of the stories. The media tends to over sensationalize the headlines with the occurrence. In a day and age where information can be disseminated quickly, it does not help the situation. Baby switching, as tragic as it may be, is not as common as media and news reports.
Media Headlines
Popular Movies about Babies Switched at Birth
From ABC’s popular family drama, Switched at Birth, Hollywood has also capitalized on these tragedies. Though Hollywood movies and stories typically end with a happy ending and resolution rather than the real-life drama and tragedies we see in the news. Some examples of Hollywood movies include, Mistaken Identity, It Takes Two, and The Parent Trap. Just as media tends to sensationalize headlines, Hollywood tries to show the happier side of these sometimes-tragic stories.
Popular Movies
How Common Is This Tragedy?
From 1995 to 2008, there have been eight documented cases of babies being switched at birth in the United States. Although this number is thankfully very low, that is still eight lives that have been changed forever. The worst part of this statistic is that it’s probably not true. The real number is likely to be much higher but, unfortunately, we will never know. Exhausted parents often only see their child for a short amount of time before the baby is taken away by nurses. It is very likely that a sleep-deprived parent wouldn’t notice if their baby was switched.
Surprised Baby
Children of this Horrible Mistake
In the case of the baby switch in Japan where the man ended up suffering financially and emotionally, there was some financial benefits. Is this enough though? Can the courts put a price on the emotional, psychological and mental trauma of discovering your parents are not your parents? Depending on the city and country where the cases occur, the courts have been able to put a dollar figure; however, those impacted first-hand have shared that money cannot make up for the time lost or the insecurity and doubt they fear with regards to their identity.
Mother And Daughter
What Does The Hospital Have To Say About This?
Tambo Memorial Hospital has refused to accept responsibility for this tragedy, even all these years later. It is speculated that a nurse accidentally swapped the ID bracelets on the two babies, but how it was done is uncertain, especially considering the children are of the opposite sex. This prompts the terrifying question of, how many times has this happened and gone unnoticed? Tambo Memorial Hospital has also refused to pay any restitution to the two families.
Children Playing
What’s Worse Than A Baby Being Switched At Birth
It’s hard to imagine a scenario worse than two children being switched at birth, but the sad reality is that there is something worse, infant abduction. In the U.S, roughly 20,000 infants are abducted every year, but only a small percentage of these are at hospitals. Between the years of 1983-2004, 116 infants have been abducted from hospitals. Again, this is a very small amount, but that is still 116 families that have had to suffer from this horrendous crime.
Empty Cradles
What Are Hospitals Doing To Prevent Infant Abduction?
Code Pink is a term hospitals across the United States use when an infant is being abducted. All exits are shut down and strictly monitored. Staff is on high alert and the number one priority becomes finding the missing baby. Infant abductions are often impulsive acts and the most common offenders are women of childbearing age. These women generally have recently lost a child or cannot have children. Although abducting a child is heinous, babies that have been rescued from these women are generally in excellent condition.
Emergency Codes
How To Know You Weren’t Switched At Birth
Thanks to modern technology, and if you have about $70 to spare, finding out your genetic makeup can be done from the comfort of your couch. Many companies, including 23 And Me and Ancestry, offer DNA kits that can be shipped to your home. A sample of your DNA is collected, generally in the form of a saliva swab, and sent to the company’s laboratories. Within a couple of weeks, your entire genetic makeup will be mailed to you.
DNA Kit
Turning Wrongs into Rights
In Japan, a man was able to prove that he was one of the babies who was switched at birth. The man was able to prove to the hospital and reporters that he was taken away from his real family and instead raised by a family who lived in poverty. It took a heart-to-heart discussion with his “mother” who raised suspicion he might not be his. To compensate this mess-up the hospital awarded him $370,000 for the damages.
Asian Baby
Who Else Has This Happened To?
Yuliya Belyaeva is a woman from Russia with an eerily similar story to that of Mother X’s. Yuliya’s ex-husband demanded that their daughter receive a paternity test. She looked nothing like him, and he refused to pay child support for a child that wasn’t his. As it turns out, the child wasn’t his, but the child didn’t belong to Yuliya as well! Yuliya recalled a woman in the hospital who gave birth the same day as she did. Yuliya finally found the other woman, Anya, and both mothers were able to meet their biological children.
Russian Girls
Face Palm
Sandy and Megs gave birth on the same day and were the only two women to do so in this particular hospital. Despite having only two newborns to look after, hospital staff managed to accidentally swap the babies and send them home with the wrong mothers. Where did this happen? In South Africa. Luckily for the PR team, this didn’t happen at Tambo Hospital. The two children, Robyn and Gavin, grew up together and regarded each other as brothers.
Robyn And Gavin
Excuse Me, Ma’am
Mary Jo Bathons of Marion, Illinois, gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and was sent home feeling a love that she had never felt before. After arriving home and doting on her baby for hours, she got a jaw-dropping call form the hospital. They had given her the wrong baby. Luckily the hospital caught this mistake in time to correct it. Both mothers received their biological babies back and sued the hospital for its negligence.
Heartland
Blood Is Thicker Than Water
Javier Delmasso of Argentina went to the hospital one day to donate blood to his sister, who was in need. Much to his surprise, the doctors told him he couldn’t give because his blood type did not match the blood type listed on his birth certificate. Further investigation led Javier to finding Gustavo Germain, a man who only lived a few blocks away from him. One mother, Marta Delmasso, claimed on the day she gave birth, the nurse handed her a baby that was dressed in different clothing than she remembered.
Nursery In Argentina
Acceptance and Forgiveness
In some scenarios where babies who were switched at birth have grown up and are adults, if not parents themselves, they often accept as well as forgive. More often than not, these instances of babies being switched at birth are not intentional but accidental. Even the parents who have been affected by the switch find that they do not hold anger or resentment towards the other family. Families affected by such a tragedy often seek counseling but depending on the age of the children, continue to raise the child they brought home.
Father Hugging His Children
Seeing Double
In 1984, identical twins, Kasia and Nina, fell ill with pneumonia when they were only two weeks old. Concerned, the parents took the twins to Warsaw Hospital. During their stay, Nina was accidentally swapped out with a third child named Adita. When the children felt better, the parents took their twins home and noticed something peculiar. When the mother called the hospital and said her identical twins were no longer identical, doctors simply said that the children were probably just fraternal twins. This mistake went unnoticed for 17 years.
Twins
Hollywood’s Fascination and Glorification
From the breaking headlines of children discovering their tragic upbringing and separation from their birth parents to the heart-tearing reunion, Hollywood has turned these tragedies into multi-million shows and movies. ABC based its popular family show, Switched at Birth on essentially ripped from the headlines plot. The show focused on two girls who discover that they were switched at birth and the impact their difference in upbringing has had on their growth.
Switched At Birth
One Big Happy Family
Dimas Aliprandi had suspicions that he may be an illegitimate child. His parents agreed to a DNA test to put his mind at ease and were startled to find out that neither of them was Dimas’ biological parent. The family did some investigating and found Elton Plaster, Dimas’ parents’ biological son. It was a happy reunion that ended in Plaster inviting the entire Aliprandi family to live on his family farm. The two families now live together as one big, happy family.
Farm Life
Why You Shouldn’t Drink At Work
There are many reasons why you shouldn’t drink at work, and apparently, accidentally switching babies is one of them. In 1994, a drunk nurse accidentally swapped two babies when she put them both in the same jaundice incubation chamber. Sophie Serrano was one of those children, and she learned of her unfortunate story when her father ordered a paternity test for the child that looked nothing like him. Both children remained with families that brought them up.
Sophie
A Life Of Luxury
Although their names are known, it doesn’t make the story any less compelling. 60 years ago, in Japan, two boys were born in the same hospital. One boy, who came from a very wealthy family, was given to a very humble and impoverished family. While their baby was given to the wealthy family. This one mistake drastically changed the lives of these two boys, and the error wasn’t learned of until 60 years later.
Missed Out
Question Everything
In 2013, Maria Lorena Gerbeno gave birth via c-section to a six-pound baby. She was later brought an eight-pound baby that nurses told her was delivered via breech-birth. Maria objected, but nurses and doctors brushed her off and didn’t address any of her concerns. By chance, three weeks later, she met a woman at the doctor’s office who had a strange story to tell. She gave birth to an eight-pound baby but was given a six-pound baby. Both mothers immediately knew what happened, and the babies are now with their biological parents.
Maria And Veronica
Accidents or Intentional?
A woman’s worst fear is having anything bad happen to their children. When a woman gives birth, her mother’s intuition kicks in automatically. Sometimes, intuition sets in notifying her that the child in her arms may not be her own; however, sometimes, the feeling they get is happiness, completeness and achievement. This euphoric feeling can sometimes be a reason for envy and why some switching at birth instances happen. Someone can feel the need to destroy a person’s life and an innocent child.
Nurses
Baby Switching Fast Facts
There are over 4 million births in a year, where of that number almost 28,000 babies get accidentally switched. This is a staggering number and yet, when you think about how this is possible, it is somewhat understandable. In the maternity ward of a hospital, a new mother can find her baby being handled on average six times a day. To avoid this from happening, hospitals are trying to come up with preventative and secure measures.
Babies In Maternity Ward
A Father’s Intuition
In 1971, Ellen Lawrence gave birth to a healthy girl. When the nurses gave her husband, Patrick, the baby, he immediately knew something was wrong. This wasn’t their child. They brought the baby home regardless, but Patrick couldn’t shake the feeling. Family and friends told him he was overthinking the situation and that a baby’s looks can go back generations. After some investigating, Patrick discovered the mother who gave birth the same day as his wife, tracked her down, and told her of the confusion. Blood tests proved he was right, and both babies went home.
Father And Daughter
Daditude
A father’s intuition is just as strong as a mother of a newborn. Studies have shown that once a baby is born, a man goes from not knowing to suddenly knowing what to do. From what their baby’s cry means to ensuring they are safe and happy. In the circumstances of babies being switched at birth, fathers are just as quick to pick up on whether or not the child is theirs. It’s this “daditude” as it has been coined that makes for reality shows such as Jerry Springer and The Steve Show.
Daditude
Preventative Measures
Though a mother or father’s intuition is one way of knowing their baby is their own, there are other preventative measures that can be taken both from a hospital stand point and from a parental standpoint. For soon to be parents, they can ensure that hospitals have proper policies and verification procedures with babies. For hospitals, they can ensure that the nurses and doctors handling the babies make sure that the baby is clearly identified correctly.
Nurse And Parent With Baby
A Baby Being Switched With A Fairy?
Irish folklore speaks of a creature called a changeling. Changelings are fairies that live in the woods, hidden from humans. These creatures were believed to steal children and leave behind a changeling of their own in its place. The child would then be brought to live a peaceful life without worries with the changelings. It was thought that if someone’s child fell terminally ill, then it must have been switched with a changeling and the real child was still alive.
Changeling
Other Forms Of Babies Being Switched In Mythology
In Polish folklore, there is talk of a Mamuna, also known as a Boginki. Mamuna is a Slavic spirit that exchanges babies while they are in the cradle. The creatures left behind would look like the original babies but were known to have large abdomens and heads. Mothers could prevent their babies from being taken by putting a red hat on their child and keeping them away from moonlight. If a mother thought her baby was switched, she would bring the replacement out to the woods and beat it while calling out to Mamuna.
Mamuna
Different Countries With Similar Stories
In Scandinavia, it was once believed that underground trolls were responsible for stealing children and leaving behind a changeling. These trolls were said to be afraid of iron, so placing iron objects such as scissors or a knife near the baby’s bassinet could prevent the trolls from taking the child. If a troll did manage to steal away a baby, the parent could coax the troll into bringing their child back be whipping the changeling or exposing it to fire.
Troll
Health Implications
Not only would having your child switched at birth be emotionally stressful, but it could be detrimental to the child’s health if the costly mistake goes unnoticed. Many health conditions are genetic, which means they are passed from parent to child. Some of the most common genetic health conditions are cystic fibrosis, Huntington’s disease, and Alzheimer’s disease. They are also at risk of letting health issues that are hard to notice, such as high blood pressure and cancer, go untreated.
Heart Problems
Children Switched At Birth In Literature
While the occurrence of babies being switched at birth is, thankfully, very rare, the subject has been widely used in literature, television, and movies. Authors, tv producers, and movie directors have been using the topic for as long as their crafts existed. Even Sophocles in 430 BC used this intriguing concept as his plot in the drama Oedipus, albeit that switch was intentional. People throughout the ages have always been fascinated by this topic because it leaves everyone wondering if it happened to themselves.
Oedipus
Family Tree and Genealogy
Thanks to the evolution of technology and genetic testing, ordinary people are able to submit a sample of DNA to see their family lineage. From Ancestry.com to 23andMe, these companies allow ordinary folks to submit their DNA to learn about themselves. For some who know their family background, the results would not be surprising; however, imagine if your results bring in to question the lineage of not you, but you parents. This is what happened to a family in the US when they discovered an anomaly in their family tree.
DNA Matching Screenshot
Did Someone Say Game Of Thrones?
The HBO series Game Of Thrones was a hit drama that millions of viewers across the world were enthralled with. Even if you didn’t watch the series, there’s a good chance you know what it is about as it was all anyone could talk about for years. In the series, baby Aegon Targaryen is switched with a commoner’s baby at birth to save his life. This baby was renamed Jon Snow, the hero so many fell in love with, and was brought up not knowing his true regal origin.
Jon Snow
Baby Switching Can Happen Anywhere
From small town Marion, Illinois to El Salvador and Russia, the occurrence of baby switching can happen anywhere and to anyone. There are so many instances and possibilities that happen in the hospital it is no wonder. One way to prevent such a thing from happening would be to ensure the hospital can account for who is holding and handling the baby at all times. Baby bracelets are not enough, it comes down to accountability and proper identification verification.
Nurse Handling Baby
Don’t be Discouraged
Yes, this can happen anywhere and to anyone but it should not discourage or change one’s opinion on have children, let alone going to the hospital to give birth. Children can bring the greatest joy and pleasures into one’s life. Don’t let the stats scare you and don’t let the headlines make you feel stressed about starting a family. Stick to your instinct, stick to your mother’s intuition and daditude.
Expecting Parents